As a woman I don’t have to tell any other woman anything. Y’all know what I’m saying.
Just by saying, we are women!
But sometimes it’s nice to elaborate and to hear someone else’s opinion so that you can remember all the things you already know!
I can’t remember the last time I walked into a parking lot, not scared. I can’t remember a time where I was alone and not looking over my shoulder, or scanning the scene, or looking people straight in the face so I could remember exactly how he looks.
I remember being in the middle of a club and a guy would just walk up from behind thinking its okay to put his hand wherever he wanted. I remember a guy pulling down a friend’s tube top down at a party. I remember being out to lunch with a girlfriend and a guy having so much audacity to interrupt and actually ask for my number.
What did I do? I dismissed it. I brushed it off, like it was fine, normal, allowed even! Probably because he was a guy.
I can’t remember when it all started, when I felt inferior and weak next to a boy or man. I’m sure society or my environment taught me a long time ago that as a girl I must be neutral, not make a scene or be seen. Wear clothes that hide my body or make me look “less” less attractive, less noticeable, less everything!!! Well enough of that shit.
I mean I’m seeing all these movements me too, times up, believe women, cancel kavanaugh and it’s about damn time!
Unfortunately, we have a president who thinks it’s ok to mock brave women who come forth and actually say the words, “it’s a very scary time for young men in America!”
I’m saying it, sit the fuck down! You more crazy than the very white man who sat in my kitchen telling me he was 3% Mediterranean so he can “pull the minority card,” oh yes honey, quoted that one! Looking back at that scene you’d think he was crazy too… but you know what I did. I smiled and said nothing!
I guess because he was a guest in my home, or because I just wasn’t brave enough to say the thing I really wanted to say.
I’ve been feeling so angry and annoyed the last few weeks and usually I can do my introspection and know exactly where its coming from. But this time it was harder, I couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t my usual rut, I was doing all the things staying active, drinking half my weight in ounces of water, getting outside, talking to people.
Then my friend asked me a question that completely brought me to tears, “hey is this Kavanaugh case bringing up stuff for you, because it’s bringing up stuff for me.”
Oh My God! Yes! Thank you! I’m angry because the world sees women as inferior, or crazy or hormonal or emotional!
When? When will women finally just get seen and noticed and heard for being …well human! And why do we have to fight so damn hard for something that the other gender is just handed… RESPECT.
As a woman, I am constantly scared for my safety. I’ve grown myself to be resilient and capable, yet I feel less than. I feel less strong than a man, less vocal, less able to take a stand for what I believe. Less.
I actually had a thought the other day, if someone came into my house and raped me, how will my husband and kids be.
I’ve created a world around me where I’m the giver, the teacher, the energy reader, the expert. Yes I’m the expert on myself, my children and dare I say it, my husband, even my family. I’ve learned every move, every word, every trigger and maneuver myself around them so to grow them into the people they want to be. I’ve grown myself to be resilient and capable and strong. Strong enough to know that if something horrendous happened to be, I may actually come out wondering if those around me are okay. But, just once I’d like someone in my world to ask me, “how are you doing?” without me saying something first, And then really want to listen and know and be the expert on me.
Take the time today to send the women in your lives some love. You have no idea about their journey and what they endure on a moment to moment basis. Take the time to listen to #herstory
It is those women who come forward to make change, to take stands that are brave. And it is those men who stand with them that are equally the definition of courageous!
October 3rd, 2018 Uncategorized