We Don’t Grow In Rainbows & Unicorns

I mean…I love rainbows and unicorns! We oooh and ahhhh at them all heart eye emoji status! Basically, they make us feel good! There’s nowhere else to go from feeling good! We are at the top, the peak of the mountain.

Growth happens in conflict! Even rainbows come only after the rain.

My father and I had a major conflict a while ago about a family thing. We had two different points of view on a topic (I know sounds absurd! who does that!?!!)

He said to me “this is the first time you and I are fighting like this.”
I stared at him in shock! I’m a thirty(cough)-something woman!!!
“What you talkin bout Willis?”
Daddy we have fought all the time!!

The beautiful thing about how much we’ve fought or conflicted or differed on topics is exactly what makes us so close!

And we are close! Anyone who knows my dad, knows he lives for me (hoping this isn’t a surprising news flash for my brother! EEEK!)

Seriously though people have always said to me, “oh your dad would do anything for you.” I think people (by that I mean boys) have even avoided me at times out of fear of the wrath of my father!

On the inside, however, we are even closer! Yes, you’d think when a father is so dominating, and literally at one point with a mustache looked scarier than Saddam Hussein, you wouldn’t want to tell him all your secrets! But I did. He was the one I’d tell all my thoughts too, he was the one I’d ask about life!

I believe its all due to the fact that he and I have had many many many …..many arguments, debates, conflicting opinions! These moments help me SEE him, and in this way he sees me!

Who I am, what I believe, what I stand for, all the things that make a person!

They wouldn’t exist if he didn’t challenge me or as he’d say if I didn’t challenge him. The love, respect and trust between us is because of our challenges!

I AM grateful. This one man hasn’t just challenged me to show up for our relationship, he’s grown me to show up in life!

I am so very grateful to have such an annoyingly challenging father…haha!! TOTAL JOKE before one of his friends print this and show it to him!

I am grateful for this beautiful man who has taught me that growth comes from tough situations, conflict, differences!

Now don’t go fighting with the people in your life!! HAHA NO NO!!!

We’ve not only had our strife, but we’ve TALKED about it. We’ve apologized for our mistakes, our part in the conflict and we’ve told each other how much we mean to each other! In person! Not by text or email… fully, completely, unfiltered, good ole time face to face. I’ve even gotten on the floor and literally kissed both my parents feet at one point in gratitude and blessing! Y. E. S. I did!

Now I’m not sayin you gotta do all that! All the power to you if you do!!
All I’m asking is maybe the next time there is a challenge or conflict you see it as a call for growth.

Ask yourself: What is this moment/relationship/situation teaching me?

Ask it over and over until you get your answer. Or like me ask the question, take a deep breath and wait in calm, stillness until you get the answer, it comes pretty quick if you’re intuned.

Now remember, none of it matters if there’s no resolve. Most people I know think pushing it under the rug is enough.
They say things like,
“Its fine she’ll get over it soon.”
“I don’t say anything when he’s mad.”
Ok. But are you fine? When will you get over it? When will you get to talk about it?

Others say:
“Its not a big deal.”
“Everything is fine.”
Wanna ask your heart? The problem here is you think you’re being positive, all rainbows and unicorns …but you’re lying to yourself! That’s not positive, it’s choosing to be ignorant. Nothing in the world is more dangerous than ignorance (or so my fortune cookie says!)

You can’t have positivity without acknowledgment of the work!
You have to do the work!

Then we can sit back and oooohhhh & aaaaahhhh at our rainbows and unicorns!

Do you have someone to be grateful to for the conflicts??
Tell them! Share this blog with them!!
Tell us about it in the comments below!
A simple way to show your gratitude for the challenges that grow you!

February 20th, 2018 Uncategorized