I Don’t Know! The most common and basic answer to all questions!
Let me ask you …do you wants to be basic??

I know you’re thinking… I don’t know Haha!

I used to get so annoyed with this answer. Even when my kids used it, I’d say, “you do know.” Truth is we do know or have some idea or an opinion or thought. Especially when it comes to questions about ourselves!

I have spent the greater part of my life being afraid to ask questions or ask for things. Even just finding out where the main dining hall is on a cruise ship was scary for me 🙈 and nope I didn’t do it, got reamed out and called stupid, but hey whatever, you wanna know then you ask!

But!! Thankfully I’ve grown ALOT since then and now.. I ask a lot of questions. Mostly to myself about myself. Eventually it led me to ask other people questions about their opinions, thoughts, ideas about themselves.

And truthfully has made itself into a sort of career, who woulda thought?!? That people would pay me to ask them questions! Lol.

Joking aside almost always whenever I ask a question the first reaction is “I don’t know.” When I press further it’s usually followed with some variation of trying to have the majority answer (cough-basic!) OR another “I REALLY don’t know,” if I’m lucky.

I say if I’m lucky because as annoyed as I used to get with this answer, I also find it’s something I can work with, anyone can work with. Its a safe space for people, where they are also willing to go deeper, like i don’t know but I could be open to finding out versus I gave you a logical, unemotional, surface answer and its set in stone, so stop asking me any more questions.

I do believe we ALWAYS know. Whether or not we choose to believe it or embrace it or share it is either based on fear or a genuine lack of some soul searching.

Why is this important well because in life if anyone wants to be an expert on anything.. then start by being an expert on yourself. In order to be an expert on yourself the “I don’t knows” have to turn into I knows. Even if it’s a I know but I don’t want to share it. Ha!

Where’s this coming from? There’s so many stories I could tell you about I don’t know, but one comes to mind, I asked a client of mine, “what’s stopping you from living your best life, your most imagined life?” This was an appropriate question after spending some time and a few sessions having her complain and be frustrated with the way her life was going. Of course she answered, I don’t know.

To which I responded, “you don’t know or you’re scared to say?”

She took a minute or eight and finally said, “I do know what I want my best life to look like, but I’m afraid to say it out loud because I feel like who the hell am I? Like I don’t deserve this.”

And there it is! The I know. Yes this is the stuff that comes up when we allow ourselves to actually know things about ourselves. The point isn’t that she feels she didn’t deserve it and why, and all that underlying stuff, which of course needs to be addressed in time, but for the topic of this blog, the amazingness is in her knowing, and all of us recognizing we use I don’t know as a band aide!

What’s that saying.. oh thank you Alessia Cara, 🎵 “no band-aides for the growing pains!”

Hey, hey, hey yeah, hey yeah (oh yeah)
Hey, hey, hey yeah, hey yeah
Hey, hey, hey yeah, hey yeah (no, no)
Hey (no band-aids for the growing pains)🎶

Hands up if you’ve used I don’t know as a band aide to cover up a wound, trigger, or actually growing.🙋🏽‍♀️ Tell us about it in the comments and free yourself!