Back To The Future

Let me start by saying, I’m sorry. I’ve been missing for quite awhile. Please don’t mistake it for negligence, as I missed this interaction so very much. But as life goes…I was  living and experiencing and dealing with the circle of life. As anyone knows, getting back on the bike can be scary. It’s scary after 1 week, 3 months and then the fear takes over the longer you hold off.

On this new moon, a new intention to keep this conversation going… Here’s to falling off the wagon and getting bank on! ❤️

Have you ever looked around at your relationships, your job, your extra-curricular activities, your circumstance, your daily routine…  your life! And thought I have no more change left to give? Like the maroon 5 song, I’ve spent all my change on you. And yet when I look around at my life, I can’t help but think where am I? Where’s the joy? The laughs, the fun?

I mean I’m not asking for unicorns and adventures. I have become a realist in all the change, and realize that life is ordinary. What else would it be? We brush our teeth, take a shower, get dressed, go to work, eat timely meals, do timely things. it’s important..very important, no one wants to live with grimy teeth and hangry mood swings for days. I mean I get it. Life is supposed to be ordinary. But where is the smiles, the laughter, the happiness?

Have you felt this? I remember when I was young, I would smile at the sky, laugh when unnecessary and rainbows filled the air around me. I was career oriented and family oriented and I’ll-try-anything-once, twice or three times-oriented. I was that girl who thought anything was possible and no person, place or thing could take my spirit! “Ain’t-no-one-gonna-tell-me-what-to-do” spirit!

Aww man. What now? Where do we go from here? Feeling like “I’m at a pay phone trying to call home, all of my change I’ve spent on you.” (Adam Levine ?)

The only place left for me to go is back to myself. I’ve moved forward so much that I have lost me. I’ve changed so much I don’t know who I am. I’m sure you’ve felt it? Maybe you’ve been feeling it and I’m just catching up?

Either way, it’s time to go back! Back in time like Michael J Fox and back to the future and bring me up to speed! Really. This is unacceptable. I spend my life changing into what I thought was me, and I’m not sure I know this girl. Let’s rewind girlfriend and get that spirited girl back to the future!

What does that look like?

For me, atleast, it looks like saying “shit” without looking around. Heck saying anything about how I feel and being proud instead of guilty. It looks like smiling because you remembered a scene from Porky’s!! It looks like passing Go and collecting $200!(monopoly reference)
It looks like removing all the constraints of should be, should say, should do and doing the opposite! It’s fun! Without needing permission. We are the adults now. We choose.

Before the commitment of becoming daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, therapist, teacher, coach. I made a commitment to myself! Without remaining true to that commitment, I dishonor anything else I commit to. Because otherwise, we inevitably end up in a place, where there’s no more change, and the only place to go, is back to ourself. Your true nature. Your true spirit.

“When you become the image of your imagination, its the most political thing you can do!” RuPaul (yes, you better work!)

Just imagine that!! What it would be like to become the image of your imagination!

Don’t imagine.. Lets do it! You with me!

Photo Credit: knowyourmeme.com

August 2nd, 2016 Uncategorized