Peaceful, Kind, Loving…Boring!
The hubby kids and myself were sitting on our couch after dinner one night a few weeks ago, my girls and I were reading, my husband was on his laptop, all of us snuggled under blankets. Honestly, a beautiful scene out of a hallmark movie and then I had a thought, this is so peaceful and lovely, but is this boring?
First of all, who was I asking? And second, boring? I’m feeling peace and love and whole and then asking if its boring?
No, what it is is hard work. It much easier to be mad, angry, annoyed and hold a grudge than it is to work for a life that is loving and peaceful!
I guess, when you’re used to a life of chaos, drama and more drama, situations where you feel peace and calm can feel boring, or sane enough to finally question your past insanity.
In the past, my husband and I may have been in an argument and post dinner would have resorted to different sides of the house, our kids playing some sort of make believe game of school, where the students are clearly right out of hell, because all they do is yell at them! Picture them as some nasty angry teachers yelling at teddy bear and Barbie students.
Only a matter of time before a fight breaks out between the teachers and it takes me almost 10 minutes of some serious screaming before I realize oh, they are no longer playing!
SO we, my husband and/or I, scream back, “SEPARATE OR PLAY NICELY!” Basically, refereeing from the peanut gallery and being the shining example of screaming back = playing nicely. FML.
OMG. Are you getting all this? Because this was my insane world! And now by some miracle of God, I’m being blessed with peace and love and kindness in a random moment and instead of just enjoying it and savoring it with some warm apple cider. I’m questioning if its boring!!??
No, its not boring. Its nice, its as the british say, lovely! Its freaking amazing, a goddam miracle mixed in with a whole heck of a lot of work, therapy, seminars, tears, growth so why am I questioning it?
When all you’ve known is the opposite, your mind makes you believe, simple living, is in some way …wrong. There’s nothing for your ego to manipulate, be scared of, battle out. I grew up in a house where we made fun of each other, as a way of saying I love you, or a way of paying a compliment. Why would anyone do that? Well, because saying the obvious would be….you guessed it…hard! And as an excuse we tell ourselves its boring! Where’s the laughs in just saying, “you look beautiful pumpkin pie!”
My family instead would say,
did you forget to comb your hair?
brush your teeth? shower?
That basically translates to “hey you look GAWWWW-geous!”
This interaction continued throughout my whole life, infused into my friends, relationships it was everywhere! This was how we found humor and accepted love. It was normal! Now my brain, sees anything outside of that and says, hey this is boring, not normal. There’s no drama. There’s no way I can put myself down if someone just says, “MMMMM DAYMMMM girl, you must be tired, cause you been running through my mind all dayyyyyy, looking all fine!”
HAHA see you can laugh and feel good. Thanks Will Smith for that above quote from Fresh Prince of Bel Air!
If feeling whole, kind, loved, and at peace is boring then boring is okay! Maybe we need more boring in the world. Boring is where its at. Where you just say what you mean and mean what you say, finding humor in silliness and spilled milk (sorry, that’s never funny, why is it funny to spill anything asks my OCD)!
Where making actual jokes are funny. Instead of through sarcasm, pointing out someone’s flaws or hitting and pinching! Maybe you say, “hey, what do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-Deer (read: no idea-rrr) get it?” hhahahah! How can that be boring!?!
To be obvious and kind makes a person feel loved, cared for, respected and most of all VALUED! If that is the new definition of boring… then yes, please put me on the call back list. I will take my boring and peace and love and go on my hippie ways and take my family with me!
Its not easy, to create a space that feels good. It is the hardest thing in any moment, but like everything else, it takes practice. Make a choice in this moment, to say exactly what you’re feeling. Maybe its I love you, and maybe it’ll be so awkward you’ll both laugh and then you have a new humor about what’s real! How’s that for boring?
October 31st, 2018 Uncategorized