I grew up in an Indian household where we treat others, family, friends, guests in our home as God. We give them all we have, even if it means we go without.
When I was younger, I was like ‘say what?’ That little girl gets to go home with my toy because she’s a guest in my house! My parents would just give away something that’s mine!
But now I can understand that that’s the only way to be. Only when we give, can we truly receive. My reward for my generosity was received by hugs from her parents, by gratitude from my own. I did end up getting a new toy, which consoled the little girl in me, but most importantly, all of me can attest that I received Love!
All of us have so much to give, whether smiles, kind words or just our company. These are all things that require no money, no work, just time, and love, and kindness! Its free and we have it within us!
The world isn’t asking for it. Sure, you can say, “uh tell that to the telemarketers who call for donations to made up organizations.” Yes, some people are asking. But for the most part the starving children, the whales, even your own family, friends, and neighbors, they aren’t asking!
Yet we feel an innate sense to give. When we hear about a heartache that came over our friend, we want to be there with them. When we see our children crying, we want to pick them up and make them feel better.
The faith in humanity starts with giving without being asked. Giftivism, Karma Kitchen, Smile Cards, Because I Said I Would, these are all projects started to just give. GIVE with no expectation to receive. Give because the universe and other human beings have great faith in what humanity is capable of.
So many times we are just waiting around for someone to ask. We wait for an invitation to hang out. We wait for someone to call us. We wait for people to tell us what they need. Stop waiting! We know what we want to do, we know how to get it done. OH, but what’s that word…ahh FEAR!
We live in fear, fear of what others will think, fear of what-ifs, fear of being rejected. Yet we know the only way to get past fear is to do anyway.
Recently, I had a very important appointment set up, I knew it would be life changing. It was causing me all sorts of extreme feelings from anxious and shameful to relieved and self-love. I kept all this bottled up in my thoughts and my mind.
Seeing me go through my daily routine, no one could tell I was in a constant war with myself on the inside. I was both my own friend and my own enemy. Talk about confused!
I knew one thing for sure, I so badly wanted someone to hold my hand through it all. But I never spoke up, actually I was ignoring calls from my family and friends.
The light bulb went on when I confessed to my sister that I didn’t ask my husband to come because I didn’t want the pressure of putting him out; That I knew he wanted to be there and was secretly hoping he’d just make it happen.
AH-HA! We all want to feel loved and supported but are afraid to express it. If we ask for someone to give, we feel like we are imposing. If we give without being asked, we feel like we are imposing!
What a colossus circle of fear, a glorified and tolerable version of:
“You say it first.”
“No, you say it first.”
“No, you say it first.”
Someone say it! I know that honest, straight-forward communication is always the highest goal in life and in any relationship. However, in moments of stress and sadness, fear takes over and makes us into Stuttering Stanleys.
We have to recognize this, first in ourselves, so we can acknowledge it in others. I admitted to my husband that I really did want him to come. (If I’m being truthful, this confession came after an unnecessary outburst about something totally unrelated like morning breakfast.)
I apologized for not being honest about my feelings and mostly I apologized for the unnecessary drama I was creating in our worlds.
He actually said to me, “I took off work to be with you at your appointment. I wasn’t telling you because I didn’t want to put pressure on you! I want to be there, even if we don’t say a word. I want you to know you are never alone.”
Talk about Powerful Words! Talk about Giving! Talk about LOVE!
I’m grateful that my husband in this moment taught me that we as humans have the ability to give and give and give. Something as simple as just having a meaningful conversation, spending some time together, saying “I Love You!” Can change the entire energy in your world.
May 7th, 2014 Clear Mind