“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
I set an intention this week to be the giver in all my relationships at home. This intention was based on a question I asked myself, “why do we think its okay to bring the shitiest version of ourselves to those we love the most.”
Let me tell you a quick story about how that went down. As you all know the universe isn’t going to make any intention, goal or lesson easy! Then everyone would be doing it right?
I set out to be the giver starting Monday and by Thursday I was crying!
Its not necessarily a bad thing, it was a way to crack my ego open. My ego is a constant talker (shocked? how is that possible when I’m such a quiet person ha!)
The truth is because of this constant talking, I react to situations from my ego, rather than kindly responding with my heart. This week, if someone I loved said something I didn’t agree with, I stayed quiet. My way of giving, its small I know but listen, houses aren’t made in a day people!
Staying quiet shocked my ego. I did this throughout the week and yes, by Thursday I was crying, but here’s the great thing… at least I wasn’t ANGRY!
Normally, I would indulge in anger, frustration, or annoyance. By blocking these debilitating emotions, the energy flowed to a vulnerable place of hurt. Something I can work with!
I learned its good for my ego to stay quiet. I learned to stay quiet in situations until I can speak with only loving kindness. I learned all this through a simple intention of giving! I chose to give peace in a place of starting a war. (woah! ah-ha moment coming through… i learned this from watching my mom. thanks ma!)
When I talk about this idea of bringing our shit versions with others I’m shocked at their responses, they tell me it’s a sign that you feel comfortable and safe with a person, it’s a part of love!
What? What? You say it’s a part of love, comfort, relationships?
Well then I’m calling CAPITAL B. BULLSHIT!
No part of being shitty is love. If you’re comfortable and safe with a person, then love them. Show them. Give to them all that they deserve. Why the F would you want to react in anger, frustration, irritability towards someone you love??
Saying it’s a sign of love is how we let ourselves off the hook!
Let’s stop being so darn selfish!
Think of an area in your life, where you excel at being present, kind, giving without any limitations, most people say their work or with friends, others are still thinking…(go to my Work With Me Page…wink!)
Do you know why you’re so good at work, with clients, with friends?
Because its about them! We listen intently, we respond kindly, we give attentively, its what giving selflessly looks like. We allow the moments to be about the other person! Fully connected, tuned in and presently giving.
THEN we come home… and we want it to be about us! ME, ME, ME! We go out into the world and give ourselves away only to come home expecting to get filled up.
This ain’t no gas station homie!
It’s time to try on something different.
Lets GIVE ourselves permission to bring our most beautifully sweet, giving selves to those we love, all the time!
If you’re asking yourself, “well when will it be about me?”
You’ve missed the point.
Maybe re-read this blog from the top.
Just so we are on the same page, to give all of yourself in any moment to another human being IS having it be about you. Your choice, your moment, your power. Its not easy or simple. Its profound! If you’re ready to be profound…
Start with simply asking, what do you need?
Ask your lover, your child, your parents, your sisters, your neighbors, anyone you come into contact with. This is where you can start.
Have you ever watched a baby? If she has a toy she wants to give it to you. If she’s eating she wants to feed you. Whatever she’s doing she wants to share it with others.
Its when we teach the baby about me, my, mine, that her world shifts and becomes …well selfish. We do that. As adults, as people, its what we’ve been taught, so we teach it to the next generation. However, the baby, she is a born giver.
Be the baby. Unlearn your domestication and get back to our innate nature and bring a version of UNCONDITIONAL GIVING to those we love!
Is there someone you’d love to bring your most profound, unconditional giving self to?
Give them the gift of reading this blog post!
Share it with them.
February 9th, 2018 Uncategorized