Fully Expressed Me

The Road To Greatness Begins with Realizing your Fear, Letting It Go,
& Believing in Yourself. My Journey Started Here…

 I wasn’t upset with you for leaving, even though I felt alone.
I understood its what you had to do.

When you would call, I wanted to hear “I love you.” “I miss you.”
Instead I heard “eew your gross,” when I coughed into the phone.

When you came back to get me I wanted hugs and kisses.
Instead I got clothes and gifts.

I wanted you to motivate me, be proud of me, push me to believe in myself.
Instead I was told “girls shouldn’t talk loud or laugh loud.” “Girls can’t be doctors.”

I wanted so bad to be shown love, so I could show you all that was hidden inside of me.
I wanted so bad to feel I was worth something, so I could own that for myself.

I wanted to be free, to speak, to think, to feel, to be My Self.
Instead I have a building size load of crap, of what I shouldn’t be, couldn’t be, wouldn’t be,
and what do I do with that.

People tell me I’m so fun, so free, so powerful, so inspiring.
Yet I see emptiness there.

I see someone who has beautiful thoughts, but cannot speak.
I see someone who has big dreams, but is too afraid to act.
I see someone who is driven and full of energy, but lays around wasting away.

I want to change the world.
I believe I can.
Yet here I still stand, in this shit that doesn’t even smell anymore.

March 31st, 2014 Free Spirit, Poem